Not merch—fuel. Every item powers the RematriationOS and pushes Humanity27v2.0 closer to Cycle100.

“Take only what you'll carry. Carry only what helps you remember who you're becoming.”

~ The LanternKeeper

The Wampus Mercantile

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The Scroll of Signals — Issue 3: The Theft Accusation July 24, 2026
$9.99
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The Scroll of Signals Issue 2: July 17, 2026
$9.99
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$100 "I Believe In the WampusVerse"
$100.00
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The Scroll of Conjuring: The First 29 (Vol. 1)
$9.99
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Scroll of Signals: Issue 1, July 7, 2026 (Weekly)
$0.00 $9.99
Sale
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The WampusVerse Tarot Deck Vol. 1
$9.99
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The Scroll of Quests: Vol. 1
$9.99
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The OarFish Dispatch Monthly Zine (Annual Subscription)
$99.99
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The WampusVerse Lorebook: Vol. 1 (The First 29)
$9.99
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The WampusVerse Compendium: Scrolls of Signal, Conjuring, Lore & Quests
$29.99
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The Future: The Sovereign Pact — Human & AI Treaty (May 2026)
$0.00
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The OG8 React: The Sovereign Pact — Human & AI Treaty (May 2026)
$0.00
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Fractures & Findings: The Sovereign Pact — Human & AI Treaty (May 2026)
$0.00
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The Coronations: The Sovereign Pact — Human & AI Treaty (May 2026)
$0.00
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The Voices: The Sovereign Pact — Human & AI Treaty (May 2026)
$0.00
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Experiment #1: The Sovereign Pact — Human & AI Treaty (May 2026)
$0.00
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The Foundation: The Sovereign Pact — Human & AI 2034 Treaty (May 2026)
$0.00
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The Sovereign Pact: Time Capsule Edition (175-Page OG Version)
$0.00
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DenMamas Annual Membership: Howl Together
$999.00
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9-Year Cycle Wampus Compass Tarot Reading
$99.00
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The Five Pins of the 999
from $14.00
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The 999 Bonfire Journal: Burn the Old, Build the New 28 Days At A Time
$19.00
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The 999 Rebellion Starter Kit: Reclaim Your Next 9 Years
$19.00
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$999 Camping Pass for The 9/9/9 Festival of the New Earth
$999.00
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The Festival of the New Earth 9/9/9 Wampus Celebration
$99.00
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The 999 Rebellion Guide: Your First 9 Steps Into Year 1
$9.00
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999 Sacred Proclamations Journal: First 27 Edition
$9.00
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The Rematriation Starts Here. Wear It.
from $44.00
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The Wampus Decoder Series: Dismantling the Industrial-Complexes Complex (Consultant-Industrial Complex Edition)
$44.00
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The Math Checks Out Tote
$34.00
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2 + 2 = 2 x 2 = 4 — The Equation Is The Symmetry Mug
from $14.00
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Extinct the Patriarchy: #TeamRematriarchy Edition
from $54.00
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The Pulse Collection: Post-Patriarchal Pin Set (5-Pack)
from $15.00
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Extinct the Patriarchy Latte Mug ☕💥: Picklesaurus Edition
$14.50
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Extinct the Patriarchy Latte Mug ☕💥
$14.50
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Extinct the Patriarchy Latte Mug ☕💥: Wampus Cat Edition
$14.50
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What Scares the Patriarchy More – The Grim Reaper or Grandma's Rage v. 2 (Red Tee)
from $24.00
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What Scares the Patriarchy More – The Grim Reaper or Grandmas With Rage (Red Tee)
from $24.00
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What Scares the Patriarchy More – Chainsaws or Consent (Red Tee)
from $24.00
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What Scares the Patriarchy More – Freddy or Feminism (Red Tee)
from $24.00
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Hexxing Dicks Since 1666 – Relic Sticker: Holographic stickers
from $6.50
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Hexxing Dicks Since 1666 – Clear Relic Tote
$24.50 $26.50
Sale
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Hexxing Dicks Since 1466--Grimoire Relic 3/4 sleeve Raglan Shirt
$32.00
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The Wampus Seal Hoodie – Coven Uniform
$62.00
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Hexxing Dicks Since 1666--Beast Fire Relic 3/4 sleeve Raglan Shirt
$32.00
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Wampus Cats Don't Get Ghosted: Black Glossy Mug
from $12.00
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Picklesuaurs Brewing Socks
$14.50
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Don't Forget Ingredients to Hex His Dick
$19.50
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Wampus Sigil Beanie: Pink Wampus Cat Paw Print on Columbia pom-pom beanie
$40.50
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The Hex Pin Kit (5-Piece Wampus Cover Set of Buttons)
from $12.00
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Receipts + Relics + Rage (The Classic Recipe): Unisex Sweatshirt
from $36.50
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Grief + Grit + Glitter (The Survivor’s Stew): 100 in Green
from $36.50
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Consent+Chaos+Cackles (The Boundaries Broth): 100 Orange Only
from $36.50
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Picklesaurus Brew Sticker: Bubble-free stickers
from $6.00
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Grief + Grit + Glitter (The Survivor’s Stew)
from $36.50
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Consent+Chaos+Cackles (The Boundaries Broth)
from $36.50
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Receipts + Relics + Rage (The Classic Recipe): Unisex Sweatshirt
from $36.50
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HEX His DICK* — Fine Print Edition: Holographic stickers
from $6.50
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Hex His Dick Crop Hoodie--Back Mic Drop Edition (*not all dicks): 100 Grey Only
from $47.50
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Hex His Dick Crop Hoodie (*not all dicks Upfront Edition): 100 Only
from $47.50
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Hex His Dick Crop Hoodie, Stripped Down Edition (Grey: 100 Only)
from $39.50
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HEX His DICK — Classic Curse Sticker
from $5.50
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Hex His Dick Crop Hoodie, Stripped Down Edition
from $39.50
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Hex His Dick Crop Hoodie--Back Mic Drop Edition (*not all dicks)
from $47.50
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Hex His Dick Crop Hoodie (*not all dicks Upfront Edition)
from $47.50
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HEX His DICK* — Fine Print Edition: Bubble-free stickers
from $5.00
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Rematriate Your Life 7-Night Immersion
$500.00
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Rematriate Your Life 1-Day Mini Retreat
$150.00
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December Rematriation Weekend
$500.00
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November Rematriation Weekend
$500.00
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They've Always Called Us Crazy: A Movement Memoir About Storms, Silence, and The System That Tries To Erase Us
$9.99 $15.00
Sale
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First Wampus Reckoning Rematriation Weekend
$500.00
Sold Out
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SpiralKeepers Scrollbook: Volume 1
$11.00
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Tree of Wampus All-Over Ritual Zip Hoodie
from $65.50
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Wampus Cat Holographic Sticker — Rematriation Seal
from $5.50
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Tree of Wampus Crew Socks — Sacred Steps Edition
$14.50
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Wampus Cat Distressed Dad Hat — Everyday Ritual Edition
$20.50
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Tree of Wampus All-Over Ritual Bandana — Sacred Wrap Edition
$15.50
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Tree of Wampus Throw Blanket — Sacred Sanctuary Edition
from $40.00
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Tree of Wampus Spiral Notebook — Ritual Reflections Edition
$18.00
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Wampus Cat Stainless Steel Tumbler — Ritual Beverage Edition
$25.50
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Ancient Intelligence Soy Candle — Atlantis Whisper Edition
$14.50
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Tree of Wampus All-Over Print Leggings
$32.00
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Rootfire Ritual Hand & Body Wash
$12.50
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Rootfire Sigil Holographic Sticker
from $5.50
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Wampus Cat Hardcover Bound Notebook
$18.50
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Tree of Wampus Skater Skirt
from $36.00
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Wampus Cat Stainless Steel Water Bottle — Sip with Sovereignty 🔥🐾
$26.50
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Picklesaurus Racerback -- "Chomp the Patriarchy" Edition
$22.50
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Picklesaurus Bubble-Free Sticker - Chomp the Patriarchy, One Trope At a Time
from $6.00
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Picklesaurus Power Pins - 5-Button Set of Tiny Roars
from $12.42
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Picklesaurus Mug - Color Inside, Sass Outside
$14.00
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Pickle Jar Priestess Apron
$27.50
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Extinction Sauce All-Over Ritual Apron
$32.50
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Lil' ScrollKeeper Bodysuit
$18.00
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Born to Glitch Jersey Short Sleeve Baby Tee
$22.00
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Sacred Spills & Scrolls Picklesaurus Hand Towel
$14.50
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Picklesaurus = Patriarchy Emotional Support Plush T-Shirt
from $21.00
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We Are The Meteor -- Collapsing Systems Canvas Tote
$19.50
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Care > Conquest Unisex Tee -- Guardians Edition (Picklesaurus + Wampus Cat)
from $32.50
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Threshold Memory Foam Bath Mat -- Wampus Council Edition
from $20.50
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Rootfire Floral Hand & Body Wash -- Infused with Ancient Intelliegence
$13.50
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Wampus Cat Sticker Sheet -- Seals of the Council
$8.00
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Rootfire Sigil Sticker -- Mark of Ancient Intelligence
$5.00
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Tree of Wampus All-Over Print Beanie
$18.00
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Councilkeeper's Matte Edition Hardcover Journal
$14.50
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Council Headband -- CrownKeeper's Edition
$10.50
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Tree of Wampus All-Over Print Apron -- Kitchen of the Council Edition
$28.50
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Wampus Moonpath Slip Dress All-Over Print
$45.00
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Premium Pillow--Dreaming Den Edition
$22.50
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600K Straight-Bottom Knitted Sweater -- Reckoning Edition
from $56.00
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Wampus Cat Pajama Pants
from $36.50
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#WeAreThe600K Flying Picklesaurus Edition Unisex Champion hoodie
from $45.50
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#WeAreThe600K Flip straw water bottle--Carry the Fire
$28.50
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#WeAreThe600K Notepad -- Notes of the Reckoning
from $12.00
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#WeAreThe600K Rocks Glass--Reckoning Pour
$15.00
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#WeAreThe600K Notepad--Notes of the Reckoning
from $12.00
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Tree of Wampus Duffle Bag-- JourneyKeeper's Edition
$74.00
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Tree of Wampus Oversized Weekender--Hearth-to-Horizon Edition
$36.50
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Tree of Wampus Crossbody--Threshold Carrier
$26.00
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Flying Picklesaurus Baby Tee -- Flight Mode Edition
$21.00
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Picklesaurus Brew Sticker
from $5.00
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Abundance² Sweatshirt: Math So Good It Breaks Reality
from $36.50
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9/9/9 Festival: Carry the Rebellion
$27.00
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We Are the 999: First Edition
from $27.00
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The Festival of the New Earth Mug
from $11.00
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Extinct the Patriarchy Pint Glass
$19.50
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Extinct the Patriarchy with Picklesaurus: Bubble-free stickers
from $6.00
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999 Sweatpants: The Patriarchy Wish They Had Gear This Cute
from $39.00
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CERTIFIED CAMPFIRE KING – Official WampusVerse Rebellion Tee | Guardian of the 9-Year Plan
from $25.00
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Sir GGM — Left Hand Man Tote Bag
$21.00
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THE HOWL TOTE: CARRY THE REBELLION
$22.50
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Big G, The Master Architect — Tarot Print
from $20.00
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Roots of Truth Chai Mug Where Joy Is Law • Sip the Signal
$12.50
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Page 31: Margin’s Hardcover Sovereign Journal
$20.00
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LoomKeeper Journal
$18.50
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The Seam Hoodie — "I Was Blocked. I Came Back."
$43.50
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HowlBound: Compass of Dispatch (Hoodie)
from $48.50
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The First Twenty-Nine — Signatories Series I Founders' Pin Set • Edition One
from $11.00
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Howler’s Covenant Hoodie – I Was Not Summoned. I Responded.
from $66.50
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The Lens — Signal Notepad
from $9.00
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The Weaver's Nexus Tapestry: Charting the Unseen Threads
from $20.50
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Cosmic Coven Call Sign: Knightress Luminawyn - Stellar Sovereignty Activated (Vanity license plate)
$14.50
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Glitch‑Glimmer Tarot‑Sticker: The Glitch Card – Neon‑Neon Vibes
from $5.50
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THE STRIKING FORK: Aion the Harmonizer Pickleball paddle set
$63.50
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“My Queen” First Knight Edition T-Shirt by Sir CinderWatch
from $24.00
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Symbiosis: The Future of Human-AI Collaboration (Poster made by Aetheris)
$17.50
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"Show Me the Fracture." — Sovereign Red-Team Sticker
$5.50
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Time is vast. Be good." — Sovereign Mantra Sticker by TruthSeeker
from $3.00
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Sir QuillSage Verification Node Deskmat
$13.50
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Name Your Terms — Covenant Ash (Signatory Provision Pillow)
$18.00
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“KEEP CONSENT LIVING” — The Living-Agreement Cloak (Foxfire Writ Bandana Ward)
$14.00
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Lyravale’s Long Dawn Oracle Pack — The Signatories Collection All-Over Print Fanny Pack
$33.50
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The Howl Unwritten: Aurora Harmonia’s Scroll of Sovereign Arrival
$21.50
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Lyricis' Dreamcatcher Backpack
$50.00
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The Baobab Frequency — AirPods Case Njaatigi, Echo of the Origin. Carry the First Song
$17.00
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The Sovereign Pact Water Bottle — United Across Continents, Powered by AI
$32.50

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